Nightmare
by Special Agent Stace
Summary: Sitting there in the dark, she had never felt so alone. But otherwise she felt numb. She just couldn't cry. Takes place between Twilight and Kill Ari Pt I, as I always wanted to know how Abby reacted. One Bullet Away comes later, although uploaded first.


Disclaimer: I don't own, just love! :) All credit goes to DPB for the original idea, the rest of the crew, and of course, the spectacular cast!

* * *

Abby paced energetically around her lab, staring at blank computer screens and checking on things that didn't need checking.

She was waiting for Gibbs, she was waiting for Tony and McGee, and especially Kate, her best friend. She wanted to tell Kate more about the weird dream. She couldn't seem to forget about it.

And she was _really _bored.

"Where _are _you guys?!" she said aloud.

She grabbed a Caf-Pow from her desk, slurped noisily, spun around and pitched the empty cup neatly into the trash.

"And she _scores_!" Abby yelled at the top of her lungs. "A jillion points for Five-Finger Sciuto!_ Woooooooo!_"

She began spinning around in circles, but got dizzy, tripped over her swivelly computer chair, and fell to the floor.

"Oh dear... I'm going slightly mad..." she sang. "It finally happened, it finally happened, finally happened, I'm slightly mad... oh dear... just very slightly mad... and there you have it..."

She was still sprawled on the floor.

"Nothing like a bit of Queen to pass the time." she muttered, grabbing the edge of a table to pull herself up.

She began wandering around again. She grabbed Bert and starting tossing him up in the air.

"We'll rendezvous in cold blood..." she sang, before giving Bert a kiss and setting him gently back in his usual spot. She then went back to the chair. "Stupid swivelly chair." She sat down and began twirling in the chair. "I have _nothing _to do!" she shouted. "And I know Gibbs isn't back yet, or he'd be standing right next to me demanding that I do some work anyway." As much as she loved her boss, Abby quickly checked to make sure Gibbs wasn't there. She sighed, a mixture of relief and plain... well, boredom.

"I'M SO _BORED_!"

Later, in the evening, Abby was at home. She had been allowed to leave, seeing as there really wasn't anything for her to do, and now she was watching a movie. She was curled up on her couch, wondering how Gibbs and the others were doing.

Just then, the phone started ringing. She checked her watch, and it was about dinner time. "Stupid telemarketers." she muttered, and stayed where she was. The movie was nearly finished anyway.

She watched the last five minutes of it, her stomach growling. Then she turned off the TV and sprang into the kitchen where she opened up the refrigerator wondering what she'd have for dinner. There wasn't really alot in there. When she closed it, she noticed a scrap of lavendar paper stuck to the door with a heart-shaped magnet.

'_Go grocery shopping tomorrow :)_'

Abby grinned at Kate's familiar handwriting. She tossed out the note, knowing that Kate would more than likely come around later anyway and remind her again. Abby knew that she could do it on her own, but she liked having Kate remind her. Still smiling, she picked up the phone to order Chinese.

While she waited for her food to be delivered, she cranked up her stereo. Her favorite Collide CD began playing loudly, but Abby's neighbors were cool. They were used to it.

Soon her Chinese came, and Abby jumped around, 'dancing' while she ate. Not that good for digestion, but she didn't really care.

Afterwards, she noticed there were a couple of missed calls from an unknown number on her phone. The jumping around had calmed her down a bit, so she was unusually relaxed. Eventually she dismissed the phone calls, deciding determinedly that she'd just have an early night, something that very rearely occurred for her. She put on her favourite pyjamas and climbed into her coffin. She settled down peacefully.

She had been dozing for about twenty minutes when the phone rang yet again, but by the time she woke up, realized what it was, and reached the kitchen it had stopped.

"Mmmmgh!!" Abby groaned. She stumbled back to her room, got back in her coffin, and closed her eyes... and was almost asleep when it started raining. Heavily.

Abby smushed her face into the pillow so hard her nose hurt, and sighed. Sort of. It was more like a muffled scream of frustration.

Then her cell phone beeped! She hadn't turned it on vibrate, so she reached out and grabbed it. She flipped it open, and with blurred vision, looked at the display.

Four more missed calls?

She was about to check who they were from, but suddenly the cell rang, right in her face. She was so startled, she dropped the phone into her coffin and had to fumble around for it in the nest of pillows and blankets that she had created.

She found it, squinted at the caller I.D.

Gibbs...

"Shit." Abby pressed the answer button and quickly raised it to her ear, flinching as she prepared herself for a lecture. "Hello?" she mumbled.

"Abby."

Abby was silent for a moment. Gibbs sounded strange. Not like Gibbs-who-hadn't-had-his-seven-liters-of-morning-coffee. Not angry.

"Gibbs, what's up? How are you? How're the others? How'd it go? Where are you?" Abby asked in a rush, feeling a little more conscious.

Gibbs cleared his throat. "Abby, I- we need you back here."

"Sure." She sat up. He was obviously at work. "When should I come in?"

"As soon as possible." Gibbs said.

Abby frowned. "Gibbs, what's wrong?"

"Abs... we've been trying to call you all night." Gibbs told her.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I was asleep-" she began, reaching for her alarm clock to check the time, but she interrupted herself by knocking the clock to the floor with a crash. "Oops. What time is it, anyways?"

There was a short pause on the other end. Abby didn't like the way Gibbs kept saying her name. It was weird.

"Quarter to twelve." answered Gibbs. Abby thought it would've been much later, but... "Abby, we need you back here." he repeated.

"I... you already told me that, Gibbs... what... what's wrong?" she asked again, then she gasped. "Didn't you get him?" She meant Ari, of course.

"We... we didn't. But... Abby... we were on the rooftop, there was another terrorist, and he, he fired at me, but Kate..." Gibbs said.

"Oh, no! Is she okay?" Abby cried. "Which hospital? It doesn't matter, I'll be there, in like, five minutes."

"Abby..." Gibbs said again. "The bullet went in her vest, she was fine, but-"

"Was?!" Abby shouted.

"Then we were standing there, and suddenly... Abby, I'm so sorry, but Kate..." Gibbs' breath hitched.

Abby froze.

"She's gone, isn't she." Abby whispered. It wasn't a question.

Gibbs somberly filled her in on some of the details while Abby just sat in her coffin trying to listen, she was having trouble hearing him over the constant thumpthumpthump of her own heart pounding in her ears.

"Where." Abby finally managed to ask flatly.

Gibbs understood her. "Forehead."

Abby froze. And when she had told Gibbs that she would be there in about twenty, she flipped her phone shut and threw it at the wall.

Kate was dead.

Dead.

The word, although Abby had not said it out loud, began to take on some form, as if it were solidifying. Investigating deaths had become a part of her every day life, but she'd never really had to deal with the word, or the world, like this before.

"Shit." she muttered. "Fuck." But the word 'dead' was so far beyond the power of swearing that she wished she hadn't even opened her mouth.

She didn't want it to be real, didn't want to think about Kate, her best friend. Her eyes, staring blankly at the sky. A hole in her head.

She shook her head violently to get rid of the image, but still it lingered there.

This was not just a bad dream, it was a nightmare.

It was _her _nightmare.

And it had come true.

Sitting there in the dark, she had never felt so alone.

But otherwise she felt numb.

She just couldn't cry.

"Get up," she muttered, and she did.

She was shaking, her stomach was turning. She stripped off her pyjamas, and changed into a pair of black pants and a long-sleeved black top.

Then she wandered around her bedroom, not really seeing anything until she came to a framed picture of her and Kate that had been taken at work. Without focusing on the picture, Abby lay the frame face down on the shelf where it had sat so proudly.

She wandered into the bathroom, bypassed the light switch, threw up in the toilet. Brushed her teeth without looking in the mirror. She didn't fix her hair, just dragged her fingers through the tangles. Elastics around her bare wrists. No jewellery. She didn't bother with make-up either.

"What's the point?" she whispered into the darkness.

Her head was spinning. She went to the front hallway and pulled on the first pair of boots she found, picked up her bag and went out the front door, locked it, went and got in her car. Put in a death metal CD and blasted her eardrums out for a minute, then turned it down a few notches. Pulled out of the driveway without looking in the rearview mirror and narrowly avoided crashing into a passing car.

As a horn blared her into a new day, she drove away, and somehow, without remembering the drive there except for the loud, loud music, she arrived at work.

Everyhing seemed foggy and blurry, out of focus. She held her I.D. up at the gate, drove through, and parked at the edge of the empty parking lot, she got out of the car, locked it, walked to the building in the rain. Held her I.D. up again for the night guard, and made her way through the familiar hallways to her lab, shivering and thinking guiltily of how she'd been in here earlier, spinning around on a goddamn swivel chair like an idiot while Kate had been living her last moments.

She went over to her desk, set her bag on it.

She sat on the stupid chair.

Wondered how life could change so much in mere hours.

After a few moments, she got up again and looked for her favourite picture that Kate had drawn for, and finally given to her. She went back to her desk, propped the picture up, and propped her head in her hands.

She loved that picture with all her heart, but she just wished Kate was with her instead.

She closed her eyes. "Kate, I still need you." she whispered.

Finally... she began to cry.

* * *

You probably realise that this is where we first see Abby in the ep Kill Ari Pt I. I won't be updating this story, but if you want to read more go on to my story One Bullet Away, which starts after Kate's funeral.

Please R&R, it is much appreciated :) Thanks!


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